Just to prove I'm not dead, even if I just comment nowadays.

I'll probably review Bayonetta shortly after it's out (Jan 8th) and then Mass Effect 2 after (Jan 29th).

Might be getting a new computer after January aswell.

Depends if I'll have enough money, especially since No More Heroes 2 and the 360 port of No More Heroes 1 are out in Feb.

Anyway, Merry Xmas.

EDIT: Also, I was 20 a few weeks ago. And L4D2 is pretty awesome.

Didn't think I'd do it did you?

Story

Our favourite news reporter April seems to catch Shredder's latest plot during her report at the Statue of Liberty, when Krang decides to take the Statue for him and Shredder (even though it's never said why), and out Toitles (don't get this, fucking shame on you) are also watching the news as this happens, so they immediately head out to catch Shredder and defeat him once again.

However, halfway through, Shredder grows bored of the Turtles' attempts to foil his latest plan and sends them back in time to prevent them interfiering, however it doesn't exactly go how he planned.

No need to describe the ending though surely?

Overall it's typical Turtles story, and as a fan I enjoyed it, and it was better for me as I had not played the arcade original.

Gameplay

Well, in gameplay terms, if you played the original, it's all intact with the only difference being the 'Special' attack is no longer over-powered, but you can still throw all of Shredder's minions and smash them against the floor repeatedly as much as you'd like.

However, with that comes problems.

As you know, the original first Turtles arcade game was very, very tough to beat, and was even harder when all 4 turtles was in the game.

It's the exact opposite in this remake.

It's way too easy. Granted, in the original all you had to do was mash one button to attack (or use your special over and over) to win, and it's the same here (Even though most sites don't seem to notice that: Gamespot and IGN), except when you're not facing bosses, it's all good.

But then you get to the bosses. They are very uneven.

They go into two catergories;

'Mind numingly easy' or 'Fucking annoying'.

The only 'good' boss is the final boss (Shredder obviously), as you actually have to be a little careful when facing him, but Shredder being a good boss doesn't make up for the others, as most of them you can beat without even getting hit. And that's on Hard.

Another "problem" loads of people have is that this is not a remake of the SNES version of Turtles in Time, it's a remake of the arcade original.

Now I say "problem" because loads of people are bitching about it having less levels and bosses.

Even though UbiSoft never said they were re-making the SNES version, as they'd have to ask... oh I don't know, Nintendo?

Graphics-wise, it's not going to win awards, but it is a nice makeover and it is very nice looking, it doesn't push the system by any means but it doesn't look like an original Xbox game either.

Final Verdict

I really enjoyed this game, however it's replay value is brought down by it's very easy achievements (got all 200 the day I got it, only one gave me trouble), and the fact that the game is way too easy doesn't help, but it does appeal to the younger audience like the Turtles do. Personally I'd recmommend you try the demo first before buying the game, aslong as you're not expecting a remake of the SNES version.

Final Score: 7/10


Next Game

Well, not sure if this is gonna work (99% chance it doesn't), but I might aswell let you lot decide what game I review next. I'll put a list of three games, and the one that's chosen the most buy next Thursday will be the game I review.

But if no one chooses (which to be honest I'm expecting), I'll choose one myself.

The games are:

Shadow Complex (XBLA)
Burnout Paradise (360)
Manhunt (PS2)

See you lot next Thursday.

Sleeper hit of 2009. Fact.

Story

You play as Alex Mercer, who during the game's intro single-handly annihlates some BlackWatch soliders using some of the powers he has gained from this special 'virus' that he has no idea how he got it in the first place.

While I'm not gonna give the entire plot away, for a Sandbox game, this has a pretty good story that'll keep you hooked and it'll make you want to find out every little thing that's happened to Alex thanks to Radical taking complete advantage of one of the games' gameplay elements.

While it's not the greatest thing in the world sometimes, as some of it's cutscenes do not fit at all, this game does have a decent story, but don't expect it to grip you as much as GTA4's in terms of drama and humor.

Gameplay

Devil May Cry Fun.

That's actually enough to end this section, but I might aswell expand on it.

As Alex, you have access to several powers that will tear apart and destroy everything in your way, such as Claws that can cut your opponents in half or dismember them in several ways, or your Blade which is your strongest offensive power and is similar to Wesker's blade at the end of Resi 5.

You also have vision powers... which are actually useless and pointless, except for the whole one mission you use Infected Vision on.

There are also 2 defensive powers which are pretty useful, such as a Shield which can block some attacks unless it's destroyed, and there's also Armor which'll perminately increase your defense, while at the cost of slowing you down and getting rid of your Glide ability.

While this is a free-roam sandbox game though, you can't use your powers without resistance, because if the military catch you using any of your powers (even if you're not attacking), it'll instantly raise an alarm and bring all their forces onto you such as tanks and helicopters.

Their defenses against you increase as the game goes on, however that you can find out for yourself if you decide to get the game. There's also YouTube though if you're curious.

Graphically the game is decent, but not breath-taking, as some of Manhattan does not look great, and while your powers look awesome, their looks don't change the more you upgrade them, which is a shame. However, Alex looks good for a main character, and the cutscenes do look great, even though some are mis-placed.

However, it's not flawless. It's gunplay is a tad mediocre (even though you're really gonna depend on it halfway through the game, and all the way through on Hard difficulty), and the game's camera isn't always the greatest thing in the world, and some enemies are a tad unbalanced.

But the freedom you do get in terms of it's gameplay, and it's numerous events I'd say makes up for that.

The game comes with 3 difficulties (Easy, Normal, Hard), all with New Game + when you beat it, so replay value is good too.

Final Verdict

Like I said at the top of the review, this is the Sleeper Hit of 2009, like Dead Space was for 2008. While this isn't flawless by any means, Radical knew what they were doing when making this game, they made it all for the 'fun factor', and this game delivers with great gameplay, an engaging story and some good characters to go with it.

Final Score: 9/10


Update

As you can see from this review, I am doing these differently now, just focusing on the two main points (Graphics goes into Gameplay), and then giving the Final Verdict and Score.

I'm also gonna do these once a week now I think, instead of one every 5 months. I'm gonna review games I have, whether they've been recently played or games I played ages ago.

Some rules on the reviews though:

- While I'm sure no one would ask anyway, no requests.
- Don't ask me to review any Halo/Zelda/Call of Duty game. I don't have them, I never will have any of them.
- Your opinions are valid, so you can agree/disagree with my reviews, I wouldn't mind if you said why too. But don't flat-out bash them either.
- You can even do a mini (or full) review as a comment too if you'd like.

Amd that's it for now.

Next week: TMNT: Turtles in Time Re-Shelled.

So it's been about a week since Resi 5 was released in the UK, and now it's time for my review of it.

Like I said in the title, there WILL be spoilers in this review, so if you don't like spoilers, stop reading.

If you read it anyway and then complain, I'll tell you to go fuck yourself and to learn how to read alright?

Resident Evil 5 takes place about 6 years after the events of Resident Evil 4 (Leon Kennedy taking on Ozmond Saddler and his army of Ganados and Ada getting a Las Plagas sample for Wesker), and regular Resi hero Chris Redfield returns for the third time, however many changes have come with him.

Chris is now working for the Anti-Bioweapon group BSAA and has been spending the years after Code Veronica going to other countries and taking out other bioweapons around the world.

And now we're at his next mission which is set in Africa, in the town of Kijuju. Chris is sent there to watch over a bioweapons deal going down in the town and to arrest the weapons dealer named Irving.

However, almost immediately things go wrong, but first, a little look at Resi 5's history.

When Resi 5's first offical trailer was revealed, controversy almost immediately followed as people laid into the game for being possibly 'racist'.

You see, since it's set in Africa, most of the people there are black skinned, and since Chris is white, this was looked to be racist because a white man is killing alot of black people.

In it's second trailer, Capcom toned down the amount of black people (but still having most of them black skinned) and added in other races such as caucasian, hispanic and asian, to avoid turning it into a much bigger issue.

However that still wasn't good enough, and the issue is still going around now. Now, here's a message to some of those people who think this is racist;

You are fucking retarded, and you should not having fucking kids.

This is NOT racist, as no one also looks at it from Chris' view. All these black (and white) people are going after a WHITE hero. But of course no one picks that up.

This is a GAME, and this is not racist, and people who take a real life issue into a game should be fucking ashamed, seriously.

Now, onto Resi 5's biggest change.

At first, Resi 5 was meant to be just like Resi 4, you just playing as Chris with the camera behind your shoulder and having a laser guide on your weapons to pull off headshots and melee attacks to conserve ammo.

Well, Resi 5 is still like that, but now you have a partner with you, making this out to be another Resident Evil game with co-op (Since Outbreak was the first, but who the hell liked that?).

Your partner is Sheva Alomar, and she is part of the african BSAA team and is sent to help Chris in his mission.

Back to the story, and about 5 minutes after you both start the mission, things go horribly wrong as the townspeople seem to be inhuman, as they seemed to shove a red creature inside a person's mouth.

That said person then starts to choke and then bleeds out of his eyes and nose, seemingly dying.

Shortly after however, he gets back up and he then rushes as Chris, whom you (hopefully, otherwise you're seriously fucked) take out, and them notice that all is wrong in this town.

While I won't talk about the whole story, it's just as you'd expect from Resi, pretty weak, but hilarious at the same time, and some other characters from previous Resi games return.

Gameplay-wise, the game is basically Resi 4, but with some add-ons, like more melee actions such as the Curb Stomp (that's not what it's called in the game, but well), and more weapons which you can upgrade and buy as you go through the game.

But there is of course co-op, which gives you other actions, such as saving your partner and vise-versa, and giving eachother ammo/grenades/herbs/first aid sprays and so on.

Resi 5 is a game that's built for co-op with a friend, and unfortunately that shows in the A.I. of your partner.

It's brain-dead most of the time. It'll waste ammo like it's nothing, and it'll go for the pistol first no matter what weapons you give her, and she will really fucking annoy you sometimes.

The same can't be said for your enemies though, especially on Professional Mode, and at the start they'll hang around in packs and will attack you with loads of weapons and later in the game they'll attack with stun rods and even guns.

However, the game has an uneven difficulty curve. The first three difficulties are all pretty easy, and the last one is too hard (do it on co-op, believe me), and that's only because you nearly always die in one hit.

The game is much more friendly than Resi 4, with it's frequent checkpoints and it's forgiving save and upgrade system (die, and you can sell any treasure you get and upgrade weapons if you need to), and if you quit it'll save your equipment so you won't lose anything.

But veteran Resi fans might not like this because it seems to make Resi 5 too easy and maybe too forgiving.

Luckily, it makes up in it's replay value and extras, as there's a hell of alot of both. Such as infinite ammo for weapons when you upgrade them fully (which cost alot of points), and figures and of course there's the old favourite; The Mercenaries.

Mercenaries can be played on co-op online and offline and on your own, and it's just as fun (but alot harder) as it was in Resi 4.

Overall, in terms of liking this or not, this is a fantastic game, aslong as you don't think of this as a true Resident Evil game, as this is staying with what Resi 4 did, and it's not going to change any time soon.

PROS:

+ Uses Resi 4 gameplay, which is intact
+ Graphics are fantastic
+ Loads of weapons to use and upgrade
+ Tons of replay value and extras
+ The game is not racist, so all you cunts who says it is should shut the fuck up

CONS:

- Story is weak as usual
- While Wesker gets an active role again, why do I feel like this really wasn't Wesker?
- Controls on the 360 version take a bit of time to get used to
- Partner A.I. is brain-dead most of the time
- No option to play alone (Chris on his own)
- The characters in Mercs seem a tad lazy, but having 2 playable versions of Wesker is awesome

FINAL SCORE: 9/10